Our Adventures

It was fun while it lasted and its not like anyone ever looked at this besides me but I think this is officially over as sad as that sounds, I miss her but she doesn’t have any of the same feelings I do, like how they say what’s meant to be is meant to be and right now it isn’t, I don’t regret it at all and am happy we went out all that time but now I just hope I can continue my life and be me and she has a happy life herself, it would of been great for it to be like how we planned but I guess plans change, I’m not glad its over but I am glad I finally know so I can stop trying to hope and put effort into it when it isn’t going to work now, I will always love her and she is amazing, smart, and beautiful as well as much more but that’s one thing that I should figure out is that just because I want to be with her doesn’t mean she wants to be with me or for any relationship it could go either way, I just hope she can be happy however she does it and I can do the same

Its our first Easter and it sucks we are apart but I miss you and love you so much, I hope you went to church haha probably not but I hope you have a great Easter and the Easter bunny spoiled you with chocolate cause you couldnt have it ha

Hey babe, I am just getting back from a brewers game and I miss you so much, I just found out brads cousin is from Middleton and I saw a girl with your victoria secret shirt and hat, I miss you like crazy and love you so much, I wish we could go to a brewers game soon, I love you!

Last night before seeing allie, I’m so nervous and hope she wants to cuddle so I can hold her so tight, ugh that would be so great I just miss her and hope she still has the same feelings for me even with this break, she is a great girl no matter what she thinks, I think so highly of her and just wish I she truly knew that, I love her so much!

Today I figured out that something was wrong with the car, I really don’t know and hope I can still surprise her even if it is a bad idea but I love her so much and am just like going through the motions without her, its not the same and I’m trying to do the best I can but its so hard and I just need allie so much, Wednesday morning when it happens I know I’m gonna be so scared nervous and excited all at the same time, right now idk what to do so I feel like writing helps but still not fun without her there, I feel so weird and empty without her, I really wish she knows how much I love her and miss her still even tho I haven’t called or texted yet, it has been so hard and harder every more second without her, I would really miss her during class but I think I do have allie withdrawals, she does give me this high which sounds dumb especially since I’m typing all this but its true and I just need and want her so bad, wish we lived closer and were with each other and both of us happy and together forever, I bet she hates not watching desperate housewives, ha everything reminds me of her cause of the time and memories we have had together, even when I saw mike and molly was on or even when just cuddling by myself under the blanket cause that was the best with her, idk I just cant get her out of my mind, I don’t want to get her out of my mind and lastly just want her with me instead of just all over my mind…

As it comes to day three and closer and closer to my surprise I think of the many choices to be made by me and allie, honestly it freaks me out, it starts off being my choice on what day to surprise her, then I have to figure out how I should approach it all and to say, then when I get there we have to see how we are and where to go and hopefully not a choice but she becomes my girlfriend again, I miss her so much and hope she is feeling a lot better, I feel bad that’s how she is feeling, I wish I could do something for her and be there for her, I even kind if thought of an idea cause I only wanna do it with her but maybe if she wants to be together but still struggling we could take molly cause ik she told me once it helps with relationships, idk, this just sucks so much and I wish me and her did win the lottery so we could get away from all this and just be together, the best things in life you have to work for and I wanna work for this relationship, I love her so much and miss her like crazy!

Wishing I was with you and even have the testing appointment card and put on your chapstick I found that you let me hold on to and last night I had a dream about her and how much I miss her and texting her before I surprise her and freaking out it was dumb to do that as well as it was about me surprising her and she wanted me to leave which I was just freaking so I feel as if I’m not sleeping well but more cause I miss her

Today was not fun for me mentally at all, I was all there but part or me could not stop thinking about allie, not even for one second, its always like that normally when we are good but now its just worse cause we are apart and not even talking. I miss you so much and love you like crazy but just wish o could know with this break if she feels the same, misses me all the time, even if she thinks about me, I’m glad she got to hang out with anna today and hope she got more weed and went out but just not the same without her in my life, I know she still is but not in the way I want her to be, I care so much about her and hope she is happy from some other source like friends or something in that sort, I know this is probably weird having a journal or log but its not like I can tell anyone, if I would I would want it to be her and I think she knows that the way I always am talking, I really am a good listener, I just like to talk, not just about me but her, the thing is I’m actually a really shy guy, I’ll say hi or something to people but I like keeping to myself, not with her tho, I wanna tell her everything and just have her to talk to or cuddle with or anything, idk I just wish we were back together, I know I always say that but I do, I guess we are working it to be like that but I’m really scared not that I think it won’t but that little chance will happen that we won’t make it work and I’ll be alone, she’s that way too but she will find someone, I know it, I just hope its me she can see she belongs with, and I need her as well as she needs me, I hope she feels like she needs me, idk just wish everything was back to how it was!